okay so i finally did it. i bought a macbook neo. you know, the fancy new one that’s supposed to be apple’s budget laptop or whatever. $599, seemed reasonable. seemed. i got it in blush because why not.
and okay, the colors are cute. i’ll give it that. it’s very light and thin and the keyboard actually feels pretty nice. apple did okay there.
everyone said it was actually pretty decent for the price. “it’s not trying to be a pro machine,” they told me. “the battery lasts all day,” they said. “you’ll use it for emails and netflix and it’ll be fine,” they promised.
lies. all lies. okay maybe not lies exactly but… exaggerated? let’s go with exaggerated.
i unboxed this thing, synced everything, and opened… a browser tab. and you know what happened? it was fine. just fine. not revolutionary. not mind-blowing. just… fine. which is exactly what everyone said but somehow i expected more? is that unfair? probably. do i care? no.
meanwhile, my ten year old thinkpad t460s sits next to it running arch linux, and that thing absolutely does not stop. i’ve installed probably 47 different distros on it over the years. i’ve dropped it more times than i can count. the battery bulged so bad it practically became a touchpad. but does it run? sure does. running so hard. running so good.
this thinkpad has survived:
- two operating systems i didn’t mean to install
- a cat that decided the keyboard was a litter box
- that time i tried to clean it with… let’s not talk about it
- literally every task i’ve ever thrown at it
and the macbook neo? it’s fanless which sounds great in theory. silent! no noise! but what that actually means is that the second you try to do anything slightly demanding, it gets warm. like really warm. and then it just… slows down. throttles. gives up. i’ve tried having more than like three browser tabs open and it starts lagging. three tabs. in 2026. my thinkpad laughs at three tabs.
also it only has two usb-c ports which wouldn’t be a problem except one of them is usb 2 so you’re really down to one useful port. i keep forgetting which one and plugging things into the wrong one and then wondering why nothing is happening.
meanwhile my thinkpad is just… sitting there. warm but not hot. running. judgmental. like it knows something i don’t.
i paid $599 for this disappointment. the thinkpad cost me $180 on ebay like seven years ago and i think it’s mocking me now.
what’s the moral of this story? i don’t know. maybe don’t buy new things? maybe my thinkpad is actually possessed and i should be worried? maybe i just hate myself?
anyway, if anyone wants to buy a slightly used macbook neo, hmu. it’s great for checking email, watching netflix, and feeling vaguely guilty about the environment.
the thinkpad remains undefeated.
– alex
